Infertility isn't a secret, I want to keep.
Last time I checked I was human. I have flaws and insecurities. I don't think that everything needs to be shared.
But I do feel like my story may or may not help someone else and I am willing to tell it in order to do so.
Is infertility something I am ashamed of? Nope. Do I care if people don't want to hear about it, not really. It is a struggle that I personally deal with and some days are harder and some days are not. Some days I want to have kids and some days I don't. It is a constant battle, ups and downs.
I have spent years battling my own intuition on my fertility struggle, I have fought my husband on decisions, I have cried in my car and I have pushed my feelings so far back into my head sometimes I don't remember I have them.
I'm not perfect. I don't plan to ever be. There is nothing about perfection that I strive for. As long as I am a better me than I was yesterday and the day before I am happy. And for once in my life I can say that I have found my happy within myself.
I have my husband, my family and my friends. They are there to help with the burden and the struggle.
I recently went to an event and I started asking questions about how eastern medicine can help with fertility symptoms and issues, there were other people in the room and when I started asking questions their faces changed and some left the room.
I can't say I have ever feared infertility, but I don't wish it upon anyone. It is something that can tear apart relationships, and make you not believe in yourself or your marriage for that matter. But if my story ever helps anyone I will be happy to share it with you.
I done a lot to be where I am in my journey with infertility and I've only told half of my story. I am strong and I have fought to be where I am mentally and physically. So if you ever see a woman talk about her struggle or story with infertility don't think her weak. For you don't know the burden she carries or the fight she has fought.