Vulnerability

Vulnerable | by Vashti Co. blog

So here is the thing about vulnerability, it is tough to be. But it is real

Letting the world know exactly who you are is scary, and damn right terrifying. 

I will admit it, I hide behind exteriors that help me with my lack of self confidence.  For me there is this entire thought process that goes into an action before I even do it.  I overthink and over-analyze situations, wayy too much and I let people on occasion run me over.  I realize some of my true beauties to then break them down and criticize them before anyone else has the opportunity to do so. 

Here I am creating a blog and photography business based on the ability to lift up, motivate, and inspire woman and I sometimes can't do it for myself.  The thing about being vulnerable is that people can take those vulnerabilities and use them against you.  And that is why we typically don't allow anyone past a certain parts of our heart.

But I have in recent years found that it is the vulnerabilities that exist within us that draw people closer to us, because some people find it to be something relate-able.  It is the silence breaker between two people who have never met, it is the common ground between people with no similarities, it is the one thing that make us ever so human.  

So to me, sometimes being raw in a sense especially with creativity revenues such as photography and writing it is the utmost way to relate to those who may have no commonality with me or even wonder why to choose me over another.  

I have sometimes wondered if I should be myself, on my blog and with my photography because being exactly who I am makes me wonder if people will even like me, let alone pay me for a service/merchandise.  It makes me wonder if being myself will deter people from contacting me or if my stamp on the world isn't good enough.

I can say this though, I know that there are people out there in the world that will choose me, and maybe they haven't found me yet, and my emails aren't flooded and I don't have people contacting me, just yet.  But I do know, that I will always be exactly who I am, regardless of what the industry changes and leads to.  

I will always write my heart's desires and be exactly the photographer/blogger who I want to be.  I can't tell you there won't be bad days, when hunger wins and some of my cranky tendencies will bear their nasty face but I can tell you I will pack snacks, keep my BRF [bitch resting face] from appearing as much as possible, and that I am overall an amazing person.

I hope that you share in the vulnerable side of me, and welcome me with open arms and hearts when I am not that great of a person at times.  

This year I plan to as always be a better person than the last.